Friday, December 23, 2005

I've never been too good at life. I make a lot of mistakes. I take too much for granted and I waste opportunities because I'm a coward. recently I've been faced with a puzzling dillema. I, for the first time, had the courage to ask a girl out, one that I had an interrest in for quite some time. I like her a lot I really do, and I think shes at least willing to put up with my company. The problem is even though I have made a personal commitment to this girl, she doesn't like commitments. We are not anything official like bf/gf but I would like to be. The thing is right now shes back home and theres other guys shes interrested in there. I'm mostly ok with that since she told me outright that she was. Honesty is the big part. The thing is I'm still jealous even though I have no right to be. I need to get over that feeling I think, shes not mine, she can do whatever she chooses. If I want to be with her then I need to accept that she'll want to be with other people. In the end it comes down to this, I want to be with her, but if I try to hold on too tightly I'll lose the opportunity. I guess I'm just gonna have to deal with it. god I'm such an asshole.