Well heres something from teh good reverend linus
http://kevan.org/johari?name=Dr. Smith
try mine out

Ok, so I'm pretty sure I'm bi-polar. Ya know way big highs and way low lows. Lately though the extent of my highs and lows have jumped and they've all centered around this one girl. I know I'm retarded, I know I should just try for something physical with her because she doesn't have any feelings to give me but like I said I'm retarded. I just wish for someone to come along and bash me in the skull with something that will bring much pain. And now it comes upon valentines day, I am of course not her only valentine but none the less the fact that I am the only one in this zip code fills me with unwarranted hope. So I will try to send her a singing valentine in hopes of wooing her. Her friend told me that she thought it would be nice to receive one. I know Its stupid of me to hold out for her but I never claimed to be all that bright. Did I mention someone needs to fucking hit me in the head.

After attending the recent poetry slam I found myself making a bit of poetry just for fun. And hey who knows I may just be a sacrificial poet at the next one.

I don't have a title for it I think I'll probably go with something ironic like Happy hour or DDS or food for thought. I don't know yet

I want to watch the world burn,
and I have access to lots of chemicals.
I want to watch the world burn,
and they let me play with Isotopes.
I want to watch the world burn,
and I can mutate bacteria.
I want to watch the world burn,
and I have a college education.
I want to watch the world burn,
and I'm going to be a Dentist.

Just how many knives is too many? I caught myself asking that question today when I wished I had another, one easily reachable even If I were sitting down buckled up in my car. Somewhere just inside the left breast of my coat. Now many people would say that anymore than one bladed tool upon your person at any one time is too many. I say nay, If theres a place where I can carry a bladed tool I damn well better be carrying one. To my shame as I say this I have but a meager seven blades upon me. One tucked in my boxers one in the buckle of my belt, another in the pocket of my coat and one in the pocket of my pants. And I have another two stashed away in my wallet for a rainy day. I feel as though I should have a few more. Maybe ten is a nice round number, I could live with that. Maybe 11.......................

short and simple

Update: 1-shit what day is it-06

School will be a mix of total boredome and manic confusion.

Love life will be a mix of total confusion and terrible sadness.

Social life will be a mix of good times and stick fights.

more to come.

I've never been too good at life. I make a lot of mistakes. I take too much for granted and I waste opportunities because I'm a coward. recently I've been faced with a puzzling dillema. I, for the first time, had the courage to ask a girl out, one that I had an interrest in for quite some time. I like her a lot I really do, and I think shes at least willing to put up with my company. The problem is even though I have made a personal commitment to this girl, she doesn't like commitments. We are not anything official like bf/gf but I would like to be. The thing is right now shes back home and theres other guys shes interrested in there. I'm mostly ok with that since she told me outright that she was. Honesty is the big part. The thing is I'm still jealous even though I have no right to be. I need to get over that feeling I think, shes not mine, she can do whatever she chooses. If I want to be with her then I need to accept that she'll want to be with other people. In the end it comes down to this, I want to be with her, but if I try to hold on too tightly I'll lose the opportunity. I guess I'm just gonna have to deal with it. god I'm such an asshole.